Oh Happy Day

“We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh.”
― William James, 19th century American philosopher, doctor, and psychologist

Patient Zero was riding the subway. Well, her name was Jessica Serow and she was neither sick nor very patient. If anything, she was impulsive which is why it was surprising that the whole chain of events started with her reading a book. A book! That alone would make anyone who knew her laugh, but it wasn’t what made her laugh. No, what made her chuckle was something she read. She was alone that day which is why she was reading in the first place. She knew better than to read in company.

(What it was that she read has been speculated wildly. Some say it was P.G. Wodehouse, others talk about an IKEA catalogue.)

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End of day

“Estimated Delivery: By End of Day”

Is it end of day yet?

It’s dark, the sun has set

Is it end of day yet?

It’s time for dinner, soup with baguette

What about now, is it end of day now?

It could be, but it’s not, no way, no how

It’s not the end of the day, no

Until DHL delivery man says so

My new best friend

Sitting in a home office writing stuff can get lonely. No, let me rephrase that. Many people think that sitting in a home office writing stuff can get lonely and by many people I mean the rest of my family. They’ve been dropping a lot of hints about friendship lately, how nice it is to make friends, and how I should get out more.

Well, see, I don’t make friends. I buy them. And I only go for the best.

And who’s man’s best friend? Who? Whoooooo’s man’s best frieeeeend, come here, boy!

That’s right. A dog.

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A few ideas for a poem

Ideas for a poem

First day of school
Last day of summer break
That popular band from Liverpool
Cheeseburgers at Harlem Shake

The soft skin of a maiden
Why love conquers hate
Our vacation in Aspen
Why buses are always late

The greatest book ever written
A pirate captain with a wooden leg
How Great Britain became just Britain
Eleven ways to cook the perfect egg

iPhone battery issues
My brand new haircut
What to do with used tissues
Jabba the Hutt

(Inspired by “Grownups read things they wrote as kids”)

Year updated to “2017”

NEW YORK – It was worth all the hype. Just hours after its launch, “2017”, the latest version of Year, a life experience interface, has collected over seven billion users, making it the most popular Year in history.

Year has managed to add new users in most of its existing markets, a feat not many analysts thought was going to be possible. Also, while Year has dominated the global marketplace, it hasn’t always been embraced by the Chinese, leaving one of the biggest markets untapped, but “2017” seems to have broken that barrier.

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Nick of Time

It was just another Friday night. Or late afternoon, to be exact, but all I had on my mind was Friday night. It had been a rough week, and I had managed to put together a real nice string of them lately. It was the eighth rough week in a row – not that I was counting.

My landlord was, though, which is why I was trying to get out of the office in the afternoon, and hit the downstairs bar before he’d show up to collect the rent. He says it’s six weeks late. Some people have no patience.

Merry Xmas, punk!

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