Earlier today

KITCHEN INT. – DAY

A couple is preparing lunch in the kitchen, the husband working on a kick-ass hotdog, while Son is looking on, licking the ketchup off his own hotdog. Wife looks out the window and sees the neighbour walk to his car.

Swan.

WIFE
Check him out.

WIFE makes a gesture with her head, pointing at the man walking on the street.

WIFE (CONT’D)
His beard is even more impressive now.

RISTO
Who? The policeman? Really?

WIFE
Yeah, he looks like an honest, neighbour-loving wholesome neighbour, like an American suburban Dad at the barbecue.

RISTO
You think? Maybe I should grow a beard, too?

Risto looks at Wife. Son is still licking his hotdog.

WIFE
Yes. No. Well, yes. No. I don’t like it when it’s too much, I like yours now.

RISTO
This is a week old stubble.

WIFE
I guess some things look better from afar than up close.

Risto sits down, takes a bite of his hotdog, and keeps on talking while chewing.

RISTO
(first part of his talk is inaudible because he’s eating).)
Whenever I hear that, I think about the time I saw a swan take a dump on the bridge that takes you from the Royal Palace to the park.

WIFE sits down.

SON
Why did it poop?

RISTO
(looks out the window, his eyes turn dreamy)

Well, a few years ago, I was on my way to the gym during my lunch hour, and I saw a swan walk on the bridge. You know that swan is Finland’s national bird? Yes, it is. Anyway, I was admiring the white bird and as I got closer, the bird turned around and pooped a stinky yellow poop.

SON laughs.

RISTO
That’s right. There are all kinds of metaphors in that one. Anyway, that’s when I thought that sometimes things look uglier if you get too close.

WIFE
That was a fine story.

SON
Yes, Dad. You’re so smart.

Risto takes another bite of his hotdog. He drops some ketchup on his pants, so he wipes it off with his finger, and then licks it off.

RISTO
So … no beard?

WIFE
I think it’s best.

5 thoughts on “Earlier today

  1. I think there’s a metaphor somewhere in the ketchup falling on your pants and the swan’s dump …

    I say grow the beard and go tackle a swan :-)
    Was I with you that day?
    I don’t recall the swan …

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