BRUSSELS – A big step towards world peace was taken today in the capital of Europe, as world leaders began the process of planning a special peace summit to discuss important matters in a wide range of topics, from financial to geopolitical to educational to philosophical and moral matters. Those unable to participate can join for parts of it via Skype, and those without a broadband Internet connection, can take part in the conference in spirit.
According to the confidential reports leaked to this reporter, representatives of all parts of the world, of all religions and faiths, and of all races and cultural enclaves will be invited to be in attendance.
People at the podium and the lectern will include – for example, but not limited to – a man in a fez, a samurai, Queen of England, a woman in a sari, an African tribesman, a man and a woman wearing feathered headdresses, a man in a cowboy hat, a construction worker, a policeman – and an RCMP officer – a soldier, a biker, and of course, several middle-aged to old white men in suits.
Before the meeting, citizens of Planet Earth – you, me, him, them – everybody, everybody! – will be given a chance to present proposals and recommendations to the working group, so that during the big day, the leaders can devote a substantial part of the day going through the motions.
The financial markets’ reaction is expected to be two parts careful optimism and equivalent parts suspicious pessimism, which is likely enough to send stock prices slightly up and down over the course of the day, which could potentially create unrest for the bankers at night. The world leaders will follow the developments closely and since there are already concerns for global economy on a local level, tentative plans for a special support package from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) have been suggested.
However, a spokesperson for the IMF already rushed to not deny nor confirm anything.
At the end of the summit, world peace guidelines will be rolled out to the world’s nations, in alphabetical order, in French. That is good news for Afghanistan and Afrique du Sud, and the U.S. which jumps from its regular place among countries beginning with a U to Etats-Unis. The Vatican and Zimbabwe will be the last ones on the list.
Social media will be a big delivery vehicle for the post-summit message. People can turn to Twitter to voice their opinions on the progress of the multilateral talks. The hashtag chosen for the inevitable Internet meme is called “#pleasepeaceme”, which is a reference to the Beatles’ song, released exactly 50 years ago this year.
The summit participants are also asked to post selfies on Instagram and on Facebook, people can change their profile photos to eggs – a symbol of breakfast, which is, in turn, a symbol of a new beginning – to show their support for the cause. Also, members of the Facebook community will be able to vote for a new global theme song for all mankind. Videos of the five finalists will be posted on YouTube prior to the meeting.
Coincidentally, the summit will end in a song, led by the man in a feathered headdress, the biker, the soldier, and the construction worker.
The date and location for the summit have not yet been set.