Want to¹ hear² my³ life philosophy⁴? Here⁵ goes⁶: Keep it⁷ simple^8,9 stupid¹⁰.

1) Well, “want to” is not really meant as a question, is it? Is “is it” a question in the previous sentence? Sure, the “want to” is just a polite way for me to let you know that I’m going to launch into a sermon of sorts here. It would be rude to just announce it, I think.

2) Again, “hear” isn’t what I mean, not literally. I do understand you can’t really hear me say anything, unless you’re sitting next to me here in our kitchen, and as far as I can tell, you’re not. I mean “read”, of course. Rod Nicolson, a Sheffield university professor, has linked a lack of internal voices to poor reading ability. So, if you thought I said “here”, maybe you want to add a little voice in your head. My voice.

3) My, as in what works for me, not one that I have invented or even formulated. It’s not mine exclusively, it’s all of ours, yours too, if you choose so. The best part is that I can still have mine, and you yours, and nobody will lose his or hers.

4) Philosophy? Let’s say it’s more like a principle or a … guideline. Catchphrase even. I’m a simple guy. (My other guideline is Hide Under Ground).

5) Not exactly here, but almost right after the “here”.

6) Goes = comes. It all comes around eventually.

7) It is whatever you want it to be. It just is, being it. I think.

8) simple |ˈsimpəl|
Adjective
1 easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty: a simple solution, 2 composed of a single element; not compound, 3 of or characteristic of low rank or status; humble and unpretentious: a simple Buddhist monk, 4 of low or abnormally low intelligence.
I rule out 4 here because the next work also refers to abnormally low intelligence, and, well, I’d like to keep it simple and not repeat stuff.

9) Some people add a comma here, after “simple”. You can do it if you want to, I didn’t add one here now, because I think – or because the Wikipedia tells me – that that’s how Kelly Johnson, lead engineer at the Lockheed Skunk Works meant it, and since he’s the one that is credited with coming up with my life philosophy¹¹, I’ll use that version. Keeping it simple.

10) Stupid with a capital S is there to simply highlight the fact that this initialism spells “KISS”. But, really, it should be a lowercase s, I think. It’s not a top-down order, you know. There’s no stupid person in this, just idiot-proof solutions.

11) Well, not a life philosophy for me. Besides, it’s hardly a philosophy. More like a principle or just a guideline. Catchphrase even.