If you’ve seen “A Night at the Roxbury” you’ll surely remember the Butabi brothers’ funny moves to “What is love”, and if you’ve seen it a dozen times like Wife and I – it was the first movie we saw together – you’ll also remember the scene in which the brothers rush to the rich nightclub owner Benny Zadir’s office.
“We’ve got a meeting with Mr. Zadir,” says one of the brothers, played by Will Ferrell.
“Names?” asks the assistant.
“Doug and Steve Butabi.”
Then the assistant delivers the line that is one of the running jokes of the movie:
Earlier in the movie, when Doug and Steve have tried to get into the Roxbury, the bouncer has asked them the same question and every time, they deliver their standard reply.
“No…”
[Pause] [Eye-rolling]
And then: “YEEEEES!”
But at Mr. Zadir’s office, Doug says something else: “Ma’am, I appreciate the setup but I don’t really have time for this.”
Sometimes, though, there has to be time, regardless of the setup. Here are my top 3 lines from our recent US road trip.
Line number 1:
Getting to the Golden Gate Bridge isn’t easy, especially if you don’t have a car. It’s a pretty long walk from the beach and since it’s uphill all the way, you definitely feel the burn in your thighs and lungs if you ride a bike to the top like I did. But, what goes up, must come down, right? And down I came, fast.
On my way down, I saw several people walking their bikes, or standing, leaning on their knees. I could still feel the burn but I was also so happy having made it to the bridge and impressed by the sight of it that I yelled “Keep going, it gets better” to them all – as I flew down the hill on my bike. They seemed to appreciate the encouragement.
Line number 2.
The Hollywood Walk of Fame is an interesting phenomenon. There’s really not much to see there but people walk up and down the street, pointing at stars and reading names of stars out loud. All the stars look alike, and it’s hard to see any special meaning in the location of the stars, either, except that it’s the place in which one’s favorite actor/singer/band has his/her/their sidewalk star.
Just like everybody else, we walked the street, pointing out names of stars to each other: “Oh, Angela Lansbury”, “Look, Ronald Reagan”, and “Lassie!”
At one point, I noticed a young lady taking her picture next to one star and my first instinct was just to keep walking to get away from the crowd, which I did. However, that particular place was 6750 Hollywood Boulevard, and the star in question was Journey so as I passed her on the street, I said to her – naturally – “Don’t stop believin'”.
Line number 3:
While the rest of the family was having fun at the White Water Bay water park, just off Reno Avenue in Oklahoma City, I went looking for something fun to do on my own, such as a coffeeshop or a bookstore, but since I didn’t have a navigator – Wife was at the water park – nor access to the Internet, I had to resort to an older trick.
I decided to ask someone for help.
I parked my car across the street from the beautiful garden in downtown Oklahoma City, and walked across the street where I saw a group of people chatting. I walked around them for a short while, pretending to admire the park, and taking a couple of photos, looking for my opportunity to cut in but when I realized they were deep into a work conversation, I walked back to the car. Right then I saw another car pull up behind mine.
A second chance presented itself.
I waited for the car to stop, and saw a young woman get out and then disappear back into the car. I stood between our cars with a friendly smile on my face for what seemed like hours but was only 30 seconds. She turned to me, now with a baby on her arm.
“Hi, I have an hour to kill here and I was wondering if you could help me find a bookstore or a coffeeshop or something,” I said.
“Yeah… there aren’t any bookstores around here, but … I’m not really from here but I think there are coffeeshops here,” she said, waving her non-baby carrying arm.
“I’m sure, I just didn’t find any. I’m from Finland, so…”
“Let me call my friend, I’m supposed to meet her here,” she said, and right then, another young woman with a baby on her arm walked up to her car.
“Hi,” said Woman #1.
“Hi,” said her friend.
“Listen, do you know how to get to Broadway,” she asked her friend.
And that, my friend, is when I finally got to use the line I learned from the “Baryshnikov on Broadway” TV special in 1981. It’s Liza Minellis first line in the show and it stuck with me (because I had it on a VHS tape and watched it every afternoon after school). I tell it to Wife every time we’re in New York but now I had a chance to use it in the wild.
And I did.
“Practice,” I said.
Woman #1 looked at me.
“Yeah,” she said with a smile. Woman #2 didn’t say anything, she probably didn’t hear it. She simply gave me directions to North Broadway Avenue – “left and left” – and I got in the car and drove away.
I never found Broadway. But I did find a Starbucks.
Risto out.
