This is a blog entry I wrote for the NHL Blog Central, but, well, I know that not everybody visits nhl.com every day like I do. So, here it is.

A Swedish newspaper reported that the NHL is in talks with Jerry Bruckheimer about having the Hollywood blockbuster producer bring some marketing spark to the league operations. Bruckheimer’s movies have grossed over 10 billion dollars, so the man sure knows how to get some butts in the (movie) seats.

It’ll be interesting to see what Bruckheimer cooks up. Looking at his movie history, there are so many avenues he could take. One thing’s for sure, though. It will be an action story.

In fact, Bruckheimer could just repackage a bunch of his own movies to create a compelling narrative for the “new NHL.”

Let’s see:

March or Die (1977)
Original plot:
American Major (Gene Hackman) is haunted by his memories of the war. He’s assigned to protect a group of archaeologists at their dig. An Arab leader attacks the tiny Legion garrison at the dig. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
A Canadian franchise is haunted by the memory of a Stanley Cup victory. A Swedish captain (Mats Sundin) is assigned to protect the archaeologically significant site all the way through March. A Legion of Senators then attacks the dig. An epic battle follows.

Top Gun (1986)
Original plot:
Maverick is a hot pilot. He encounters a pair of MiGs over the Persian Gulf, and his wingman freaks. Maverick is able to talk him back down to the Carrier. Maverick is moved up in the standings and sent to the Top Gun Naval Flying School. There he fights the attitudes of the other pilots and an old story of his father’s death. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
Evgeni Malkin is a hot winger. He encounters a pair of agents in the shadows and his former team freaks. Malkin is able to continue his career. He moves his team up in the standings and is sent to the All-Star Game. There he shows off his attitude to the other wingers and fights off an old story of his former team. An epic battle follows.

Bad Boys (1995)
Original plot:
Marcus Burnett is a hen-pecked family man. Mike Lowry is a foot-loose and fancy-free ladies’ man. Both are Miami policemen, and both have 72 hours to reclaim a consignment of drugs stolen from under their station’s nose. To complicate matters, in order to get the assistance of the sole witness to a murder, they have to pretend to be each other. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
Tie Domi is a hen-pecked family man. So is Peter Worrell. Both are NHL enforcers and both have 72 hours to sign their retirement papers. To complicate matters, they have to pretend they like the “new NHL.” An epic battle follows.

Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Original plot:
Car theft in Long Beach went down 47% when Randall “Memphis” Raines walked away. He gets dragged back into it by assuming the job his brother Kip screwed up: steal 50 exotic cars and have them on a container ship by 8 a.m. Friday morning, and he gets this news on a Monday. Memphis reassembles his old crew and attempts to pull off the logistically impossible. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
Attendance in Long Island went down 47 percent when Garth Snow walked away. He gets dragged back into it by assuming the GM job. Then he has to steal 50 free agents and sign them for 20-years deals by Friday morning. Snow reassembles his old crew and attempts to pull off the logically impossible. An epic battle follows.

Coyote Ugly (2000)
Original plot:
A sexy romantic comedy, “Coyote Ugly” is the story of one girl’s wild adventure in the big city. Graced with a velvet voice, 21-year-old Violet Sanford heads to New York to pursue her dream of becoming a songwriter. A new nightclub with a twist, Coyote Ugly, is the hottest spot in town, featuring a team of sexy, enterprising young women who tantalize customers and the media alike with their outrageous antics. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
A romantic comedy, “Ugly Coyotes” is the story of a franchise’s wild adventure in the big league. Graced with a golden touch, 44-year-old Wayne Gretzky leaves New York for Phoenix to pursue his dream of becoming a winning coach. A franchise with a twist, the Coyotes feature a team that tantalizes fans and the media alike. An epic battle follows.

Black Hawk Down (2001)
Original plot:
Action based on a near-disastrous mission in Somalia. Nearly 100 U.S. Army Rangers, commanded by Capt. Mike Steele, try to capture two top lieutenants of a Somali warlord. Two Black Hawk helicopters are destroyed. An epic battle follows.

NHL version:
Action based on a near-disastrous mission in Chicago. Iron Mike Keenan leads his troops to the Stanley Cup Final, then departs and wins it with the Rangers. The Blackhawks are destroyed. An epic battle against injuries follows.

Remember the Titans (2001)
Original plot:
The year is seen through the eyes of the football team where the man hired to coach the black school is made head coach over the highly successful white coach. Based on the actual events of 1971, the team becomes the unifying symbol for the community as the boys and the adults learn to depend on and trust each other.

NHL version:
No, really: Do you remember the Titans? Gretzky’s sticks and the red plastic skates?