Want to1 hear2 my3 life philosophy4? Here5 goes6: Keep it7 simple8,9 stupid10.
1) Well, “want to” is not really meant as a question, is it? Is “is it” a question in the previous sentence? Sure, the “want to” is just a polite way for me to let you know that I’m going to launch into a sermon of sorts here. It would be rude to just announce it, I think.
2) Again, “hear” isn’t what I mean, not literally. I do understand you can’t really hear me say anything, unless you’re sitting next to me here in our kitchen, and as far as I can tell, you’re not. I mean “read”, of course. Rod Nicolson, a Sheffield university professor, has linked a lack of internal voices to poor reading ability. So, if you thought I said “here”, maybe you want to add a little voice in your head. My voice.
3) My, as in what works for me, not one that I have invented or even formulated. It’s not mine exclusively, it’s all of ours, yours too, if you choose so. The best part is that I can still have mine, and you yours, and nobody will lose his or hers.
4) Philosophy? Let’s say it’s more like a principle or a … guideline. Catchphrase even. I’m a simple guy. (My other guideline is Hide Under Ground).
5) Not exactly here, but almost right after the “here”.
6) Goes = comes. It all comes around eventually.
7) It is whatever you want it to be. It just is, being it. I think.
8) simple |ˈsimpəl|
1 easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty: a simple solution, 2 composed of a single element; not compound, 3 of or characteristic of low rank or status; humble and unpretentious: a simple Buddhist monk, 4 of low or abnormally low intelligence.
I rule out 4 here because the next work also refers to abnormally low intelligence, and, well, I’d like to keep it simple and not repeat stuff.
9) Some people add a comma here, after “simple”. You can do it if you want to, I didn’t add one here now, because I think – or because the Wikipedia tells me – that that’s how Kelly Johnson, lead engineer at the Lockheed Skunk Works meant it, and since he’s the one that is credited with coming up with my life philosophy11, I’ll use that version. Keeping it simple.
10) Stupid with a capital S is there to simply highlight the fact that this initialism spells “KISS”. But, really, it should be a lowercase s, I think. It’s not a top-down order, you know. There’s no stupid person in this, just idiot-proof solutions.
11) Well, not a life philosophy for me. Besides, it’s hardly a philosophy. More like a principle or just a guideline. Catchphrase even.