The Decision

Let’s say you’re in charge of a big science park, a place that introduces science to kids and families. Let’s say you want to have a unique attraction, something to keep people buzzing about your fine establishment for years and years.

Because you know that what you have is pretty darn good. You have all the cool things that people love to try out; the Indian fakir spike mats, the mirrors, the car with the square wheels, and dozens and dozens of other cool tests that explain gravity, light, mathematics, and laws of physics in an entertaining way.

But, like I said, let’s say you also want to spice it up a bit. Would you go with dancing bears, or an Einstein lookalike walking around, solving math problems with the visitors, fireworks in a bottle, or a full-blown particle accelerator?

Or would you instead train rats to play basketball with a ball that – in its former life – used to be in a deodorant roll-on stick? And would you then stop there, or would you create a pro league for the rats?

Don’t speak

You know how “they” always say that 80 percent of human communication is body language. Some of them actually throw the numbers around a bit, based on “new studies” – this is where Son would ask me if I meant that ironically, and I kind of do – or whatever happens to suit their message so who knows which number is right. Maybe it’s 55 percent, or maybe 93.

Let’s just agree that it’s very important, muy importante.

Is this a high-five, or is the bigger blonde girl saying,

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No sweat

“Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.”
– Thomas Alva Edison

Terry, my Canadian (exchange student) brother had a buddy called Sweaty. I’ve never met Sweaty, and in the only photo I’ve ever seen of him, he was asleep – or passed out – and not really sweaty, but I’ve always felt a connection to him.

I’m sure you can figure out why.

A former floorball team mate of mine perspired so much that he was nicknamed

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Yes, I’m from Finland

“What an honor that the amazing Markoolio was born in my fatherland
– Son, July 15, jumping up in joy

You can take the boy out of Finland, but you can’t take Finland out of the boy. Even if the boy sometimes does everything to keep Finland deep, deep, deep down in the dungeons of his soul. All you have to do is trash talk Finland – or tell the boy everything you know about the country – and the boy will come to the country’s rescue, or answer in mono-syllable sentences.

Unless you’re a Finn, of course, in which case the boy will join you in trash talking Finland.

Trams.

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When we were kings

Turns out, I didn’t know anybody. I thought I could put all the names and faces together, but I didn’t recognize my best buddy. I probably would have had somebody asked me to find him in the crowd sitting in the sun, but when he came to shake my hand, I drew a blank.

Then again, he wasn’t sure who I was, either.

Almost like the first day of school.

Except a lot more fun.

Because on the first day of school I cried.

The Great Partly-White North

I’m writing this in the kitchen of the northern-most Swedish family in the world, looking over the world’s northern-most concrete plant, with my back towards the northern-most hospital in the world. I believe that right now, I may just be the northern-most Finnish freelancer in the world, and for sure, this is my northern-most blog entry ever.

First 1100 kilometers north, then 600m straight up.

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Interlude

FADE IN.

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY.

Two men standing in line to a buffet table. They work in the same office, but don’t usually eat lunch together.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
So, who do you think will win the World Cup?

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Oman… I don’t know. I like Samoa.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
You’d like some more what?

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Some more Turkey, please. I’m Hungary.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Sure, help yourself.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Thanks, I was Ghana.

Man in a suit and a red tie steps aside, and lets the man in a blue tie reach for the turkey.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Anyway, you think Spain can do it?

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Norway, India dreams! No, no, they’re Finnished.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Care to make it interesting?

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
I’ll bet Macau that they won’t win it.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Well, OK…

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
OK, Czech this out: I’ll Sweden the deal, and even predict the score: 1-1.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
But, that’s .. What is that?

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Yemen of little faith. That’s my prediction of the World Cup final.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Sure. Fine. Listen, I have to go now. See ya!

MAN IN A SUIT AND A BLUE TIE
Actually, I have Togo, too.

MAN IN A SUIT AND A RED TIE
Oh, I Bolivia.

FADE OUT.

The World.