What do you do when your father-in-law sends you a meme and challenges you to tell Seven Truths about yourself?

That’s right. Keep reading.

Number One.
I’ve never been in a fight. Which is something of a miracle because I do have a hot temper, a quick mouth, and I’m only 5-5½. But really, I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Number Two
I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

Number Three
I don’t like that U2 song.

Number Four
I just can’t see it. I’ve never had a dream girl, dream car, dream job. Never. When my friends would talk about this Ferrari and that photo model, I could never see myself driving that car or dating that girl. (But sure, when I saw Jessica, I knew). The other side of this coin is that my self image is askew. I can’t see myself like others seem to do. On the other hand, the image I have of myself is somewhat thinner and more ripped than the one others see.

Number Five
The phoniest compliment I know is this: “You’re so intelligent.” What do we know about intelligence, anyway. I have no idea how intelligent my friends are, really. Whenever I say, “you’re so intelligent”, or even worse, “s/he’s the most intelligent person I know”, you know I’m lying. That said, my father-in-law seems pretty sharp.

Number Six
I’m stubborn, but amazingly fair. If I think I’m in the right, I’m not going to back down even if it ends up coming back and biting me in the ass. I would rather boycott a sushi bar that’s 500 meters from my house, and get worse sushi farther away, than give in. My wife calls that a “Risto Revenge.”

Number Seven
I think about what others think way too much. What they think about me, that is. No, I want them to like me. I keep telling everybody else that they should just do whatever they want to, and yet, I don’t always do that myself because I want to be liked. But I’m getting better at it. Writing columns does that to you.