A charismatic, ageing French rock star will compose and record an original song for you, your mom, your lover or your pet in French, English, or Franglais (recommended). US$200.
– A classified ad in the London Review of Books, 2022–

[Phone rings]

“Bonjour.”

“Hullo, sir.”

“Is this the London Review of Books?”

“Yes, sir. Yes, it is. How may I help you?”

“I would like to place an ad, please.”

“Certainly, sir. What kind of advertisement are we talking about? We have a quarter-page in the front, half-page next to the letters–“

“In the back, with the holidays and writing retreats. And dating ads.”

“I’m not sure we have dating ads, sir.”

“Oh, please. In the back? The ‘Lonely and desperate man seeks – anyone” types.

“The personals?”

“Some of them seem very personal, yes. Too personal.”

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Henry Baker hated his name. He wasn’t crazy about the Baker, but it was his last name and he considered it a given. Besides, it was the only thing he had left of his father.

No, Baker was fine. Even Mom thought so. It was Henry he had a real beef with.

He loved his mother very much but he hated his name, and that was a problem because while she loved him very much, too, she may have loved the idea of having a son named Henry just as much.

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The world was different in 1964 when Gun opened her little store from what it looked like in 2004 when she decided to retire and sell the tiny store. You may think the city’s always looked the same, especially around her store, because the store is on the ground floor of a big old stone building, and was there even before Gun – but it hasn’t.

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