Customer service

It’s been 11 minutes and 20 seconds now. That’s how long I’ve been holding to get the customer service of “3“, the Swedish 3G mobile operator. I’ve heard all about their campaigns, how to create a photo album on their site, how to change the ring tones, and tones for outgoing calls.

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Two articles

This just in:

Donald L. Barlett [aged 70] and James B. Steele [63], the longtime, Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative reporters who lost their jobs at Time Inc. a few months ago, have taken the leap from mass to class and are joining Vanity Fair.

The two have accepted an offer from Graydon Carter, the editor, to sign a multiyear contract, agreeing to write two articles a year.

I’d file both stories by the end of March and just hang out for nine months.

A man, a bag, a car, and a dog

A couple of days ago, I was sitting in the backyard, reading David Remnick’sReporting“, when a man walked by me. Well, he didn’t just walk by me, I don’t think I would have noticed him had that been the case.

I noticed him because his dog stopped, and decided to take a dump on our lawn.

No, seriously. The dog retreated into a kangaroo position, pulled his ears back, and just … let … it … rip.

Meanwhile,

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Open letter to my country of origin

Dear Country of Origin,

First of all, let me start by saying that I really, really care for you and you’ll always have a special place in my heart. I just feel that we’ve grown apart. Also, it’s not you, it’s me. I want to, no, I have to end this relationship because I love you too much. I don’t think you should be spending any more time with me, I am only holding you back.

Although, you were holding me back a little when you said I couldn’t see any other countries. Come on, what’s up with that? Just because you never want to go out anymore, doesn’t mean that I have to stay at home as well. I thought we had some trust between us. This is not what I had in mind when we agreed to have an open relationship. So what if I thought Italian food was the best in the world? Yeah, right, coffee, too. Oh, and ice cream. I just can’t lie to you anymore. I hate your meatballs.

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Luukku 24: Put A Little Love In Your Heart

Tiistai, 24.12.2021 — Jouluaatto

Sofia seisoi tiskin takana valmistelemassa jouluaaton näytöstä. Saara, perfektionisti-tyttöystäväni, oli tehnyt kinkku- ja kalkkunaleipiä, ja jopa leiponut joulutorttuja Atlaksen joululeffamaratonin grande finaleen. Sofia ei suostunut edes koskemaan kinkkusämpylöihin, joten Saara lähetti Peten pikareissulle kauppaan ostamaan hummusta ja avokadoja.

Pete tuli hetken päästä takaisin selkä suorana ja pää pystyssä. Häntä ei tuntunut edes haittaavan, että hän näytti aivan lumiukolta. Hän tömisteli jalkojaan aulassa ja ravisteli lumet pois vaatteistaan.

– Alkaa olla jouluinen tunnelma, hän sanoi ja virnisti leveästi. Hetkeä myöhemmin hän auttoi Sofiaa tekemään lisää leipiä ja sanoi jotain, joka sai Sofian nauramaan.

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Dec 24: Put A Little Love In Your Heart

Tuesday, December 24, 2021 — Christmas Eve

Sofie was standing behind the counter, getting everything ready. Sara, my perfectionist girlfriend, had made ham and turkey sandwiches and even baked some sweet pastries for the Atlas Christmas Eve show. Sofie refused to touch the ham sandwiches and Sara sent Pete out to get some hummus and avocados.

When Pete returned, he had a spring to his step that I hadn’t seen before. He didn’t seem to mind the fact that he looked like a snowman when he stepped into the foyer and stomped his feet to get the snow off his shoes and pants.

“Wow, feels like Christmas,” he said with a big smile on his face. A minute later, he was joking with Sofie as the two stood behind our long counter, making sandwiches.

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Luukku 23: Driving home for Christmas

Tiistai, 24.12.2021 — jouluaatto

Jouluaaton aamu avautui synkkänä, auringolla ei ollut mitään mahdollisuuksia. Ulkona oli niin pimeää, että Einsteinkaan ei herättänyt minua aamukahdeksalta, vaan pysytteli mieluummin suosikkipaikassaan sängyn alla.

Oli mukavaa laiskotella aamu. Minulla ei ollut mitään suunnitelmia ennen neljää, eli leffamaratonimme seuraavaa näytöstä. Minun piti vain käydä Einsteinin kanssa ulkona ja hengailla Saaran kanssa, enkä juuri mitään muut toivonutkaan.

Sitten puhelin soi.

Tiesin, että puhelin soi aina samalla tavalla, mutta jostain syystä kuulin nyt jo pirinästä, että jotain oli vialla.

Langan toisessa päässä oli äiti.

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